For the past few weeks I have been doing everything in my power to keep myself from fretting, worrying, and wondering about my ability to make this trip to Israel. My routine has consisted of: wake up, go to work, go home, go to sleep, repeat. I have practically deleted my social life, and am constantly thinking in the back of my mind “what if I can’t come up with enough money to go?”
After my initial acceptance into the program I had 6 weeks to come up with $750 to secure my spot in the program… it took me just over 5 weeks to do so, barely. I had a choice after that– do I put my deposit down and have faith that everything will work out and I’ll secure the remainder of the funds for my participation in Tikkun Olam, or do I cut my losses and play it safe, not spend $750 before I know I can get the rest, and call it a day…. it was at this time that a single quote my brother had shared with me echoed in the back of my mind louder than it had ever previously.
“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.”
The decision was clear, and I almost felt silly for even thinking twice about it. And as if [the universe was aiming] to put an even larger period on the end of the sentence, while I was on the phone to Israel making the payment I found out that I received the Masa scholarship for $7,500.00. I almost couldn’t believe it– frankly, it’s still sinking in. The only reaction I’ve had so far, aside from becoming immensely excited and running in circles, was to bring home some cardboard boxes from work to begin packing away things I won’t be bringing with me to Israel. …..what else to do?
This is now a plausible reality, and I can still hardly believe it. I have $2,000 more that I need to come up with, plus a plane ticket and some sort of tangible living stipend to survive on for a year while I’m there. ….let the games begin.